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Random, but: I’m reading this philosophy book by Bertrand Russell and one idea in it is “Who am I? What is the self?” You can’t trust your senses because they can deceive you. You shouldn’t trust your memories or thoughts either, even if neuroscientists say that consciousness is the string/collection of personal memories, because we are forgetful, wrong, and dumb at times.

Putting the philosophy aside, I wanted to ask/say that as twinnies who tell each other everything and seem to often be in sync in our intuitions…can you be the holder/bearer of my memories when it’s too heavy, too sad, too crushing for me to bear them on my own? Adn I want to be the same for you: the knower of your high school days and younger self…so that you (and I) can grow out of our shells and past selves…that we can die to those past selves and live in Christ, or at least in hope.

S: Did you see the video on the elderly Chinese man that was pulled off the United plane? He hit his head against the armrest when they pulled him out. He started bleeding and I think he was knocked out briefly as a result. The fact that he was an elderly Asian doctor who was trying to fly back to see his patients freaking makes my blood boil. How can they have the audacity to treat someone like this?

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My quality of life improves when I stop living to fulfill other people’s expectations, or my own for my future.

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This Queen City charmed me with the promise of a long-term project and the freedom to chase sunsets and meet new people. Hope I’m ready to move on now.

charlottebooks

All my lessons are really just explanations of how I think I’ve changed this year.

They were not concerted efforts at education so much as reflections on past events.

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[The following is excerpted from a group text I’m engaged in with my new friends in NYC. I met them after I started working at Accenture.]

Alice: I’m interested to find out or at least try to find out where this whole “men are better than women” thing started. I’m pretty sure we will never find out exactly when and where it all started but I would love to look into what triggered men into thinking we are these irrational, thin-skinned, whiny child-bearers.

Jinyu: I don’t think it’s their fault that they think this way. Our thoughts and beliefs* come from the environment we live in. The female stereotype/expectation had been around for a long time and it takes time and effort to change it. Not all men nowadays think this way. I want to say that generally men with higher education tend to be more open-minded on*(?) gender roles,* but of course that’s not always the case. But I think education definitely helps.

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WATCH THE VIDEO, IT REFLECTS THIS POST MORE-OR-LESS PERFECTLY

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i wanted to forever-reblog the lantern picture (42!) from beloved (BELOVED!), but wordpress doesn’t allow it.

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Perfect love, we know, casteth out fear. But so do several other things – ignorance, alcohol, passion, presumption, and stupidity. It is very desirable that we should all advance to that perfection of love in which we shall fear no longer; but it is very undesirable, until we have reached that stage, that we should allow any inferior agent to cast out our fear. 

C. S. Lewis

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