It’s 9:20–I just got off the phone from a 20 min. conversation with Sisi. I’m really glad that she has a phone now<3

My story: Apparently while I was miraculously running to the library to get my book in time, Mommy found a World Journal article about this girl who got into MIT and won the local Brain Bee:

It gave her the idea to tell me to join it. At first I thought it was like the quiz bowl, and I was skeptic but somewhat excited? Then she kept bugging me to search it, and I told her I have no time and she should just search it to tell me when it is, what it is, etc. It annoyed me that she wouldn’t do the research and plan stuff so I could just prepare and participate. I mean, American parents–those dedicated parents who sign their kids up for stuff– 1)know what their kids would be good at or into and 2) would sign up for it, drive them to and fro, and take care of all those details. My mom is trying to care about my college app, but thinks she’s doing me such an extra favor when she doesn’t really do much at all (everything she does ends up being a waste of time). It’s not my fault she’s inefficient >.<

Anyway, when I saw that it was 1) a neuroscience thing and 2) during the second week of August–I said no because 1)I’m not into bio, let alone neuroscience and 2) it’s during YUGO.

One thing led to another and we just kept bickering. As always, no one heard the other side. I heard that she kept saying it’s for high schoolers, and you don’t need to be into neuroscience…but she absolutely was not listening to my explanations that it’s NOT REALISTIC. Any guidance counselor would tell her it’s not wise to just randomly do something senior year for the resume building. Especially not something I would fail at, since how you do in contests does matter. She said YUGO is not as important as this IBB thing, but I’ve been doing it for years and it’s actually something I’m committed to and related to something I’m interested in. HAS SHE NOT HEARD ABOUT “SHOWING YOUR PASSION”? On all fronts–for the college app, for my well-being–she was losing but just couldn’t see.

I hate that Daddy took her side even though he knows she was being just as argumentative and unlistening as me, if not more. He told me to be a “proper teenager” and I told him I didn’t know what that meant. Even googled it. Still, what did he mean? “Proper” in what context? Does he want me to get a tattoo and drink and do drugs like Cara but get into Princeton? Or be the goody-two-shoes and not care about this contest stuff? UGH

Then, I found that article–when I was searching for when the local bee is, just to entertain the idea of maybe doing the IBB. But it was over in March. Not only does the article confirm that, it confirms that I could not be that girl.


What made me cry is that Daddy had to go and tell me not to fundraise for YUGO. So why the freak would I go to NHP tomorrow when I could go to Hope Center and film the skit and be happier? How the freak can I make church thingees a bigger project to show colleges that I do care and I can do stuff. I hate when people dash my dreams last minute. It’s as bad as Transperfect and other companies lying to me about no internship spots. It’s as bad as Mr. Wang not telling me I was fired.

If there’s a lesson to be learned here, if I wasn’t actually right about everything I said, WHY CAN’T THEY FREAKIN’ TEACH ME THE LESSON?

So I started crying, went to Chris’ room–and he just stared at me. My own brother can’t even hug his crying sister. I must be pathetic.

I guess I just thank God I have a sister in Sisi. She called at a perfect time.

And apparently she has her own parent/college woes too.
Her SAT scores, her potential major and college list…
It doesn’t help that her mom is bipolar and doesn’t support her wanting to be a teacher.