Today’s my first final–it’s a psychology final on stress and disorders.

I finished my essays yesterday at midnight–it took me until 4:00AM Sunday to finish the Mitt Romney personality one, the thirty minutes between 8:30AM-9:00AM while praise team was practicing to write the second essay on neural plasticity, and then the hangout/study session with Mike at Lew’s to write most of the third one about being an Afghan who might conform to participate in Al-Qaeda. My inefficiency should fascinate me.

So today I rushed to school early with Mommy and Daddy, getting here at Barnard by 7:30 AM. I’d been studying (read:cramming), thinking my Psych final was at 9:00 AM like my other two finals. I get to my classroom 2 minutes before 9…to have a Spanish professor start hablando espanol. It was first very nerveracking to think that I may be in the wrong room and late for my final. Afterwards, it was just exasperating to realize my mistake: the final’s at 1. Victor reasonably noted that I now have more time to study…but of course I’ve instead wasted this extra hour. I’m going to a philosophy review session soon, though!

Oh, finals are funny things. I feel pretty unstressed about them overall, but the details (time, room, specific questions, regrets about not studying one page or one section) can still induce levels of stress that may accumulate. Praying that I don’t succumb to that kind of thinking and instead stay grounded in my confidence [in Christ? =x]

I think I’m developing my ability to practice positive reappraisal. My psych textbook says that it’s more effective than distancing, denial, and escape-avoidance tactics–which are more useful for short-term problems. As long as I focus on my overall long-term personal growth, I shouldn’t have have too many regrets. I think that the same reason I’m okay (more than okay; happy) about my decision to come to Barnard instead of Dartmouth applies to why I’m okay during report card and finals seasons. It’s how I deal with the process/little-things that bug me more than the end evaluations.

I don’t know why I’m blogging here so often.