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S: Did you see the video on the elderly Chinese man that was pulled off the United plane? He hit his head against the armrest when they pulled him out. He started bleeding and I think he was knocked out briefly as a result. The fact that he was an elderly Asian doctor who was trying to fly back to see his patients freaking makes my blood boil. How can they have the audacity to treat someone like this?

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All my lessons are really just explanations of how I think I’ve changed this year.

They were not concerted efforts at education so much as reflections on past events.

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i wanted to forever-reblog the lantern picture (42!) from beloved (BELOVED!), but wordpress doesn’t allow it.

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Perfect love, we know, casteth out fear. But so do several other things – ignorance, alcohol, passion, presumption, and stupidity. It is very desirable that we should all advance to that perfection of love in which we shall fear no longer; but it is very undesirable, until we have reached that stage, that we should allow any inferior agent to cast out our fear. 

C. S. Lewis

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since my previous post got wiped out, write a new one?

“This isn’t the first time. My dad can always make me feel like crying. All he has to do is use this certain tone of voice and whatever he says hurts so much. “

my dad can make me cry really easily too. he has this face that he makes that’s part disgust, part condescension. and it drives me INSANE when he makes it. there’s so much evil on that face >< it sometimes really makes me think some demon is making it. i think it only started to bother me after i came back from college. something about that face disturbs me a lot a lot a lot.

i don’t know why but reading the rant section made me realize you have human problems like me. and by human, i guess i mean family.

lately, despite all the transparency, it still feels like i dont really know the vulnerable side of you. your responses and reactions to things are too put together to make me truly comfortable with telling you what’s bothering me /: 

anyways, brief recap of what i had written before it was deleted?

so in short (because i need to prepare my lesson plans for the week lol), i had been worried a bit yesterday about who would actually be at my future wedding since I havent really reached out much and i remember what we’ve said about me and everyone at hope center. [mike said he’ll prob have about 5 people at his wedding but that he’s fine with it…oy vey]

but today, I realized that things aren’t as bad as i think they are and i got to have some interesting interactions with a lotta people today lol

– Melina: we exchanged contact information! and she called me by accident later lol…

– Tyler: my ear had very intimate contact with jess’s stomach

– Wing: he was disturbed by my hand rubbing with Anna 

– Justis: was so confused when i suddenly said that he had nice teeth, which cracked up Wing lol

– Victor: told him that i wanna meet Emmy and i think we decided on a possible double date in the future? for now, he’s busy learning how to dance for his wedding haha

so why did i list them all? i think to remind myself to be grateful (: even though im making slow progress, it is still progress.

 

random insertion of thought,

so a lady from a chinese church in the neighborhood visited me a few times this summer to evangelize. when i told her that i was christian too and that i was thinking of trying to get my parents to go to church too, she was very excited and gave me her phone number. when my mom saw her a few times (some of which i wasn’t home for), she got really mad and basically shouted at me to get rid of her one day when she came to show me an article from the Watchtower. my mom said that she didnt care what religion i was, but if i brought that woman into our house or tried to evangelize to her too, she would flip. 

What bothered me was through it all, i was never comfortable with the woman. even when she visited me when my mom wasnt home, i never invited her in. needless to say, when she came when my parents were home, i never said much to her and always told her that i was busy. afterwards, i would be grilled by my parents, who’d accuse me of intentionally bringing random christians to our house even though i’d had prob one encounter with the woman beforehand and she’d just been going around the neighborhood looking evangelizing when she came to my door.

today she called me and told me she had another article for me, but i turned her down.

ive always been praying that one day, my parents would believe in Christ too. so why am i turning this woman away? I feel like a coward because I fear my parents’ wrath. i realize i dont have faith that God will open their hearts and that no matter what they say, i’ll be okay.

I need to live out the Word. I need to be brave. But I’m weaksauce. 

JON STEWART’S BOOKS

Bumped into Andre

Thank You, God.

It’s been pretty lonely since classes ended since I only went to school for finals and just study at home without really interacting with my family.

So today after my last final, I read the New Yorker (3/2012. one of my favs) and then just started walking east (I guess intending to make it to Staples to buy a camera). I bumped into Andre in the beautiful section by 103rd-ish that I’d never been to before.

Thank you for teaching me patience and delayed gratification, God.

Barnard College Unofficial Transcript
Name : Christine Yuan
Major : Undeclared
Ant. Grad. Date 05/2015
Transcripts
FALL 11
CHNS G5017 COLL-ADV MOD CHINESE READINGS 3.0 AECON
BC1003 INTRO TO ECONOMIC REASONING 3.0 A
FYSB BC1190 LEGACY OF THE MEDITERRANEAN I 3.0 AMATH
V1201 CALCULUS III 3.0 APHIL
BC1001 INTRODUCTION TO PHILOSOPHY 3.0 A
SubTotal : 15.0 3.82
SPRING 12
ECON W3213 INTERMEDIATE MACROECONOMICS 3.0
ENGL BC1201 FIRST-YEAR ENGLISH 3.0 A
PHIL V2201 HIST OF PHIL:AQUINAS TO KANT 4.0
PSYC BC1001 INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY 3.0
PHED BC1585 BEGINNING WEIGHT TRAINING 1.0 P*
BARNARD POINTS [GPA] 19.0 [3.85]
TRANSFER POINTS 0.0
SUMMER POINTS 0.0
OTHER POINTS 0.0
CUMULATIVE POINTS COMPLETED 19.0
End Of List
This is not an official transcript!